Self Esteem: What Is It?

Low self-esteem is a common issue. If you think about it, it's really no wonder. We spend most of our formative years learning not to think or speak too highly of ourselves.
 
Then we are continually tested throughout school to make sure we are good enough.
 
Many people I have come across sabotage their own success and happiness because of low self-esteem.
 
Why do they do this?
 
Because they have low self esteem... They do not think they are worthy of anything good.
 
Here are some specific examples I have heard a few times.
 
Other people treat me as if I’m worthless so I must be – mustn’t I?
 
I’m no good at anything – so I can’t be worth much.
 
I only earn £17,000 a year, all my friends earn far more and have more responsibility, I must be worth less than them.
 
When I was young my Mum/Dad weren’t affectionate to me/ praised my sibling more than me so now I have low self-esteem.
 

Often people will go to a Therapist or Counselor and spend weeks or even months constructing a story as to why they are unworthy.
 
It doesn't have to be that difficult.
 
The truth is you can make this, and anything in life, as simple or as complex as you like.
 
Low self-esteem is based on a simple misunderstanding. The misunderstanding is in the definition of Self-esteem. Self esteem is your judgment of how worthy you are.
 
Do you get that?
 
It is your judgment. Not the people around you. Not your Parents or your Employers, but yours.
 
So all the excuses about what has happened in the past... and all the actions of other people have nothing to do with your self worth.
 
They may have treated you poorly, but it was your decision, your choice to use their treatment of you as the basis for judging your self-worth.

So the simple route to raising your self-valuation is to make a new decision.

Find new information on which to base your self esteem.

Better still base your self-valuation on a new understanding... An understanding that you do not have to do anything in order to be worthy. You and everyone else are worthy, just for showing up and being alive.

Becoming happy not about having certain information. There is no Holy Grail.  There is only the willingness... to accept that up till now, perhaps some of your beliefs have been wrong... and the openness to finding a new more empowering belief.