Why?

Do you have a thing?  Something you love to do.  Something you never grow tired of.  Yet however long you spend at it, there’s always more you could do or learn to improve.
 
Some people are obsessed with music or golf or films.  I love to know how and why people do what they do.  When you take this deeper, it leads me to be obsessed with finding more and more refined answers to the question… how do we live the best, most fulfilled, meaningful and happiest life?

My Journey...

We all see the world differently, we all have our own way to feel we have some control in this crazy, chaotic world.  My way is to understand.  Ever since I could speak I was asking why and watching and observing.
 
I was able to read before I went to school.  Not sure how, but I just picked it up apparently.  And in books I found a world of knowledge that I could accumulate and use to understand more and more. 
 
I used to read a book a night.  My Mum and Dad wouldn’t let me have the light on late at night… I was a nightmare to get up for school...  so I used the red beam from my alarm clock to read from.  Before long I’d read through the children’s books, the teen’s books, the football biographies and then I started reading Dale Carnegie books and business biographies.  So by the age of about 12 or 13, I had worked my way onto business books by Peter Drucker and Tom Peters etc.
 
At 18 – 20 I was ambitious and money hungry.  I set up some businesses, which led me to being £60,000 in debt, homeless and sick at 21.  I’d opened a small Gym miles from home and for the first time things hadn’t worked out.  While I hated school, it was easy for me and I never had to work at it.  I was arrogant and thought I could do anything.  I had no real interest in opening up a gym, but in 1993 it looked a promising business opportunity.  My plan was to build it up into an empire and then go wheel and deal in the city.  Needless to say life had other plans for me.
 
So there I was stuck in a business I didn’t particularly enjoy and needing to make it work so I didn’t go bankrupt.  So I set about asking, how could I help my members lose weight and get fit.  This led me to qualify as a Nutritionist, but I soon tired of writing diet plans that no one stuck to.  

Down The Rabbit Hole...

So my new question… how do people stick to their diets and exercise programme… led me to Neuro Linguistic Programming, then Counselling.  However, that’s where I hit the fork in the road.  You see, people join a gym because they have a problem that’s bothering them. 
 
Sometimes it’s because they’ve ended a relationship and are back on the dating market.  Sometimes it’s because they’re worried their Husband or Wife is losing interest.  Sometimes it’s because they’ve had a health scare, but whatever the reason, it only tends to bother them for a few weeks and then it subsides as their life develops.  That’s the real reason most people don’t last at gyms, because they join for fleeting reasons.  Or it was back then anyway.
 
So I would be digging in and a sales appointment with a prospective new member became like a therapy session.  The problem was, that they realised the real issue and would go off to do the thing they really needed to do.  That was great for them and I felt I’d made a difference, but it sucked from a business perspective because they didn’t buy memberships.
 
So I was stuck with a dilemma.  Stay, be a Businessman, sell people what they didn’t need and live a soulless life, but make money… or follow the rabbit warren wherever it led me. 
 
I ended up studying a psychology degree and writing my dissertation on what makes people happy.  When I graduated I started coaching people and ran a few training sessions sharing what I’d learned.  Then I started writing here and sharing my thoughts and then wrote my ideas in a book.   
 
Since then life has been busy.  Working, I’ve gotten divorced, been a single Dad and generally experienced more of life.  I’ve spent the last few years working with teenagers, helping them to build confidence and overcome anxiety, .all the time, of course, testing and finding new ways that work better and refining my ideas of how we can best answer the perennial question…  how do we live the best, most fulfilled, meaningful and happiest life?

So What's Your Story?

So… that’s me… what about you?  Drop me a line and tell me a little about you… and if there’s any issues you’re puzzling over at the moment… all the better.  I keep meaning to bring back the… How Can I Be Happy When… Q & A Newsletter!

Blog Posts

A few of the posts on the blog
  • The Problem With Marriage and Happiness

    Life is hard enough as an individual, but when you bring in other people you add a whole other layer of complexity to life.

  • Is It Selfish To Seek Your Own Personal Happiness?

    We are often told and want to seek our happiness, but sometimes this conflicts with other people's needs.  How do we deal with this?

  • How Do I Stop My Partner Making Me Miserable?
  • If we're in a relationship and the other person is unhappy, we can't make them be happy, what do we do?

  • Not my answer, but one opened for fellow Readers to share their thoughts.

  • Why Are Some People Selfish And Others Selfless?

    What makes some people self obsessed and without regard for others, while some people would give the shirt off their own back.

  • How To Stop Worying And Free Your Genius

    The way we think about our work and our abilities lays a foundation for doubt and stress.