How can I be happy when things are just not right. everything seems to be a wrong decisions, life is not same. people around are not the same (Relationships, behaviour, understandings etc)
I am confused too many things bombarding simultaneously. Where should I seek happiness.
I know you will say….. from within but my problem is that I am not able to….
In every moment of your life, your senses are being bombarded with information. But you have to be selective in what you consciously are aware of or you could never function. So you become aware of the few pieces of information that are most relevant to you right NOW.
For example, have you ever suddenly noticed it was cold, perhaps after someone else mentioned it? Wasn’t it cold a second before? But you were preoccupied with something else and so you didn’t notice until it became more important. So everything you see outside of you is dependant on what is going on inside of you.
So if the world isn’t right, it’s because your head isn’t right. Get your head right and the world will be right.
People waste so much effort demanding that the world be perfect. That we have world peace and harmony. But if the world was perfect, then there would be nothing to do. No room to grow and develop.
When the world seems wrong, it’s just life showing you, ‘here’s where you need to work on. Here’s a path that will get you to where you want to be. Here’s another’.
It’s not that the world is wrong and needs fixing. It’s more that you have a limited understanding, which needs expanding. I think the following story illustrates the point I’m trying to make.
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shrivelled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Don’t we do that all the time? We are so eager to jump in and help that we restrict our children and other people from developing for themselves.
I have said that the answer is within you, but you say you can’t go within.
Well really there is nowhere else to go.
Everything that seems to be outside of you acts as symbols for the things within. This makes it seem less personal, gives you a buffer and so is easier to deal with. Therefore without or within – it’s all the same stuff.
It’s just a whole lot more effective to change from within.
Changing stuff from outside is like running on a treadmill. Lots of effort. Lot’s of huffing and puffing, but everything changes back to how it was before.
Almost the whole world looks outside for the answers. And many do find ways that they can be happier and more fulfilled. So you can seem to act outside of you and make internal changes. Yet eventually all roads lead to inside of you.
Let’s move onto the confusion issue.
Confusion isn’t necessarily bad. It shows your Operating System has taken in new information and is changing, but the dust hasn’t settled enough for you to have organized it all yet.
Life is overwhelming. It always has been. But today, it’s so easy to get buried underneath everything.
We have hundreds of TV channels to choose from.
Then there’s the Internet with it’s billions of sites.
And let’s not even get started on RSS.
Then you need to remember hundreds of PIN numbers and passwords.
Then there’s various bank accounts, credit cards and so on.
Today if you don’t actively focus your attention, your mind is just going to pop from overload.
The secret is this…
There are no right decisions and wrong decisions.
There are only decisions that you can make right or those you can make wrong. Here’s what I mean…
Think back to the last time you really wanted something. For a while now I’ve started to really want an MP3 Player. So over the last couple of weeks I’ve started to look at various models. And now I’m finding all kinds of logical reasons why I need one.
But I’ll never value an MP3 Player more highly that I do right now. Because as soon as I’ve paid for it I’ll begin to doubt whether I’ve made the right choice. Perhaps I should have got the other model. I’ll realize that really I didn’t need an MP3 Player, but what I really need is…
Isn’t this true for everything since our first toys?
The secret to happiness and success in anything is to make a decision and then never look back. Focus all your efforts on what’s immediately in front of you – NOW.
It doesn’t matter where you are, because it’s possible to get to anywhere you want from anywhere.
As long as you keep going.
It’s the stop – start, backwards – forwards indecision that stops you getting anywhere new.
It’s not hard to find rags to riches success stories in any field of life. Someone who’s overcome every obstacle and disadvantage to get what they wanted. Sometimes the disadvantages can work in their favour because they had no choice and so they had focus. And channelled focus with determination and persistence brings success. Success can then bring momentum. And nothing can stop you once you have momentum.
Most celebrity relationships don’t work out. Do you know why?
It’s because they have so much more choice, that they have too many options. They are more attractive to others and come into contact with mostly attractive people. Now every relationship has it’s rocky moments. But every time they doubt whether they have made the right choice, there in their face is another option. One that in that moment seems more appealing.
Yet what we really want from a relationship doesn’t come from a prettier face, a bigger bank balance or the novelty of the new, but from the deeper layers that a longer relationship can bring.
In just the same way happiness and fulfilment can come from anything. But from it’s core, not from a superficial skimming.
So I’ve rambled a little to get here, but your original question was where should you look for happiness?
Right in front of you. Get started with the most exciting thing you could work on (it doesn’t matter what, just that you get moving) and ignore every other non-essential thing. Become absorbed in that. And then other interests will open up for you. By that time you’ll be in such a different emotional state that confusion and overwhelm won’t be an issue.